When something does not go our way, our first response is usually, “O Heavens!” Or “天啊！” (in Chinese, meaning the same thing). Whether you believe that there is a God is always irrelevant. 

The second complaint is usually “Daddy! Or Mummy! What happened?!!!”  Whether it is really your parents’ fault is always irrelevant. 

Yes, there are two parties we instinctively blame for everything – God and our parents. Even if there is no good reason to link them to the problem. 

God being the Higher Being, can sometimes “escape” the blaming exercise. Our parents are much less fortunate. I once witnessed two children in a food centre blaming their mother for buying a bowl of soup noodles for each of them! After complaining, they finished their bowl of noodles anyway. It seems that complaining about their mother has become a habit for them. 

 “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”

Deuteronomy 5:16 

Wouldn’t we agree, those who have God and parents have a better chance at survival than those who do not? There are orphans who may do exceptionally well, but they are the minority. The odds are against them. 

And so, with thankful hearts, we honour our parents, because not only have they brought us into this world, they also do their best to give us our best shot at life. 

It is no coincidence that the first five of the Ten Commandments that give us the boundaries of relating to God, include the fifth on how to relate to our parents. 

It is always easy for us – if we are better educated and more technologically savvy, to belittle our parents. Clearly, they are inferior to us in these aspects. With fast evolving technology, the youngest generation are always the most technologically savvy. 

But the more educated and successful you are, the more you need to remember that if your parents were able to nurture one as successful as you –  that makes them as successful as you are, if not more! 

Just as the graduation robe you wear on your convocation honours your academic achievements, remember that your parents too have a God-given, invisible robe of honour placed upon their shoulders. 

Your parents were born with it, and the robe of honour was put on them the day you were born. They earned it through obeying God’s fundamental intention for mankind to multiply and fill the earth.

So the next time your parents appear foolish – remember that they have a robe of honour bestowed upon them by God. Yes, by God, not by you. 

“The eye that mocks a father and scorns the obedience of a mother— the ravens of the valley will peck it out, and the offspring of vultures will eat it.” Proverbs 30:16

Take heed…. that he who DOES NOT honour his parents will definitely NOT succeed. 

When one is willing to change one’s mindset to honouring one’s parents – there is a series of changes in your outlook. 

You will start honouring the people around you. You start appreciating the hard work and effort that others have put into their work. 

These changes greatly increases your empathy towards others and improves your social interactions with your customers and colleagues, ultimately increasing your chances of success. 

To the parents, I say this… 

As parents, we have God-given positions of authority over our children. Our children do not see God immediately, but they see us – their parents. We are therefore God’s representatives on earth towards our children. 

If we want our children to honour us, we must first see ourselves as honourable. Parents are God’s representatives on earth – we are honourable, just as God is. 

To those with parents, I say this:

The challenge comes when our parent makes foolish comments, perhaps even challenging our belief in God. We must immediately put on the “special spectacles” that see the invisible robe of honour that they are wearing. 

“Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.”

Proverbs 14:29

By countering one’s parents comments with angry or insulting remarks, one has derobed one’s parents of their robe of honour. Focus instead at how the conflict could be resolved. 

The shortcomings of our parents do not make them any less honourable. Separate their shortcomings from their God-given honour. Resolve conflicts and solve problems instead of engaging in a quarrel with them. 

In this way, we are not over-righteous, nor are we overly wicked. 

Do you accept that..

One needs to “honour your father and your mother”?