It has the power to transform the recipient’s emotions and actions when a gift is given in love.
A friend recounted how a manager in her company was always nasty to her subordinates and colleagues. But at every festival, this manager would never fail to give her colleagues and subordinates a lunch treat. A Christmas gift for each colleague would never be lacking every year.
However, no one felt that this manager was sincere in giving her gift and treats because she was always more generous in dishing out her scoldings. It was as if her gifts were an excuse for the liberty to lash out at others.
On the other hand, there was another colleague whom no one liked at first. A frank character, she was always quick to correct others at meetings and on their work.
Previously based overseas, it happened that this unwelcome colleague was transferred to their local office recently. Within days, the previously unpopular colleague had greatly improved her popularity ratings. I was curious. How did she do it?
From her first day of work in the local office, this colleague lost no time in buying breakfast for everyone in the office. Moreover, the gift was not a simple breakfast, but a sumptuous breakfast that required order in advance and some queuing in the morning.
The fact that she did it every morning for a long period of time showed her sincerity in presenting her gift. Eventually, all her colleagues in the local office were moved by her sincerity shown through her breakfast gift.
Colleagues soon realised that her motivation for correcting others was her wanting to do her best at work, and hoping others could do well too.
What was the difference between these two people? They had both presented their gifts. Both had come up with a reasonably large amount of money. Yet they achieved different effects.
While the first was a begrudging host, the second example was someone who genuinely wished to give a good gift to others out of love. (Proven by the effort she put in consistently everyday for a long period of time). Others could feel her love and sincerity.
And yes, time is a good measure of love as it shows perseverance. Because
“love is patient…”
1 Corinthians 13:4
Have you ever received a gift that reeked of hypocrisy? Beware of the begrudging host, like the first example – who fully exhibits the following
“Do not eat the bread of the stingy, and do not desire his delicacies. For, like hair in his throat, so it is. “Eat and drink!” he will say to you, but his heart will not be with you. Your morsel you have eaten, you will vomit it up, and you will waste your pleasant words.”
Proverbs 23:6-8 LEB
A gift needs to be given in love and sincerity.
Now someone may say –
All these gifts giving sound too scheming. Therefore, I do not want to build relationships through giving gifts to others. I will solely depend on my strengths to excel at work and be appreciated.
Another person may say –
Since gifts are so effective, I should give many expensive gifts to others to establish good relationships for myself.
The person who thinks that giving a gift is being too scheming and one should not expect anything in return from giving gifts, is not being truthful to himself. Because no one wants to be “nothing” (1 Corinthians 13:2) and no one desires to “benefit me nothing”. (1 Corinthians 13:3). At the very least, surely he would expect his gift to be received with a smile from the receiver?
The crux of giving a gift is to give it in love. Benefits will naturally follow, as seen in our second example.
The wise man’s advice for the man who believes one should not give gifts for the sake of building relationships is this “Do not be overrighteous, neither be overwise, why destroy yourself?” Ecclesiastes 7:16
If your gift is given in love and sincerity, it is a good thing, and you will and should reap the results of your love. In addition to being a hardworking person who does not stop on improving yourself, add on the ability to give gifts in love. This will enable you to build better relationships with others.
On the other hand, if you think you should solely depend on gifts (and possibly bootlicking) to improve your relationships and your lot, the wise man advises,
“Do not be overwicked, and do not be a fool – why die before your time?” Ecclesiastes 7:17
Gifts merely form one part of forming relationships with others. One still needs to work hard and know your job well in order to succeed. Therefore, such a man who thinks he could depend solely on gifts to move ahead in life, must learn to gain real skills and improve his lot.
Therefore,
“It is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other. Whoever fears God will avoid all extremes.”
Ecclesiastes 7:17
My wish for the reader is to avoid both these extremes, without turning to the left nor to the right, and be guided by the wisdom from God’s Word.
“Yahweh looks down from heaven upon the children of humankind to see whether there is one who has insight, one who cares about God. All have gone astray; they are altogether corrupt. There is not one who does good; there is not even one.”
Psalms 14:2-3 LEB
When God looks down from heaven on mankind, may He see His children having insight and doing good. Amen.